And We're Up:
Liam had a decent night considering he just got sewn up. He was getting worked off of the pain meds by morning and was going on his fifth hour of no meds when we had our morning visit.
And We're Down:
While we had our mid-morning break when the NICU is closed (10a-11a), Liam got fussy enough that the nurse decided he had gone long enough and gave him his usual pain meds. Then he got so relaxed he forgot to breathe. The nurse was able to bring him around with some oxygen and suction so he didn't need to be bagged or intubated, thank goodness. We were told just as soon as we were checking back in. It really freaked me out because early that morning there had been a Code Blue in a different part of the NICU (or in Labor & Delivery- we couldn't figure out which one). And to think that Liam had a scare- well that was tough to think about.
And We're Up:
After the lunchtime break, we went back to visit Liam and I GOT TO CUDDLE HIM!! Like REALLY HOLD HIM IN MY LAP!! He was still attached to his various wires and tubes, but he was in my arms and we were in a big comfy chair and we loved it! His heart rate calmed and he settled into nuzzling with me. I could have fallen asleep and stayed there forever. The nurse was happy to see he tolerated the holding well because some babies that weren't able to be picked up early on have a hard time adjusting to someone touching them. He also tolerated swaddling after being pretty much laying out in the open (he had a bed warmer so don't picture him chilled or anything) due to his silo preventing swaddling from happening sooner. I didn't want to put him back when it was time to go.
Continuing the Up:
Steve and I drove home (me for the first time since getting admitted last week) to see Riley and take him to basketball pictures. We had a great afternoon playing and checking out what he's been up to.
And We're Down:
After basketball photos, we had dinner around the table, did bedtime routine and then the tears started. Riley didn't want us to leave. He had managed so well all week being the "leaver", but he couldn't handle being the one left. It broke my heart to have to make a choice for the first time- I wanted my little guy happy and sleeping but I wanted to get to my baby that had stopped breathing earlier that day (and who I would also get to hold again that night!). It was terrible and hard and I think I cried all the way down Hwy 90 to Hwy 59 and onto the interstate. I was worried I can't ever go home again unless I'm staying the night because it was too hard on him. :(
And We're Up:
Poppa Mal and Nana Sheryl worked their grandparent magic on Riley for us and got him calmed down and settled. Nana even told Riley stories about SteveDaddy growing up (can't wait to hear those!) and I think she might have even caught a few Zs next to Ri in his bed. I'm sure he was in heaven. It made it easier to leave knowing his was in loving hands.
And when we got back to the hospital, Steve got to hold Liam for the first time and loved every second of it (as did Liam). We even got his eyes open checking us out a few times. I got to hold him one more time before visiting hours were over.
It was a crazy day of ups and downs- I hope we don't have too many of those or momma will need to pump and dump after I polish off some Bailey's to calm my nerves. :) I resisted tonight though...
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