Mini Post...

It's so sad when you wake up to your "neighbor" in the next room at the Ronald McDonald House bawling their eyes out. I haven't spoken to this mom before so I feel funny about knocking on her door to check on her. I had thought about going out to one of the front desk people to see if they could make sure she's ok after a while. It sounds like she's the phone so maybe she can talk it through with them. Sometimes you just need to get out all of the worries, frustration, and heartache in a good cry fest and then you can face another NICU day.

I just hope there's not another baby gone too soon...

Update:
I heard my neighbor leave around 6am and thought oh no, that's not a good sign because quiet hours are from 6-8am and there's no visiting then. I passed her as I was leaving the House at 8:30 and again thought- oh dear, she's coming back when visiting hours are going on- that's not good. But when I got to the NICU door I didn't see the "signal" that a baby had passed. They put a special signal up on the door when a tragedy has occurred so staff coming in on shift change, etc know the mood is somber in NICU for a while. I was relieved and went about my morning.
I asked at the House desk when I got back from lunch if anyone knew if my neighbor was ok as she was very upset this morning. Sad news. She did in fact lose her child and has already checked out. I felt sooo sad for her and got a chill. I had heard a mother getting the news that her baby didn't make it. How awful! I sometimes feel guilty when I hear about someone's baby taking a turn for the worse or passing. I feel bad mine is doing so well while others are not. Maybe it's like survivor's remorse or something. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, I should feel relieved and thankful. I am all of those things- it's just hard to explain the mix of emotions is all. :(

Another week- another baby gone. That's four that I know of now...