This Baby is Definitely Half Aussie!

Today was my first day without having Steve with me and I got through it pretty well! The days go by so fast anyway going in and out of NICU. Liam and I had a quiet start to the morning since he was so peacefully sleeping during first visitation. I spoke with the doctor and nurse about what we should do about this pooping thing. We all agree since he was pooping before surgery and now he's only on IV fluids, he probably doesn't have anything left to poop out! They've tried to stimulate his bootie (poor guy) with suppositories and rectal temps to no avail. The dr said she would talk to the surgeon (she has to ok the bowels are ready for feeds). Steve and I decided tonight if the dr doesn't get an answer we will request a chat with the surgeon to see if we can find some middle ground. Hopefully tomorrow we'll get some kind of news!

After the first break I got to spend some amazing bonding time with Liam doing what's called Kangaroo Care Therapy. It's skin-on-skin cuddling to give babies and mommas the closeness they need for bonding but miss out on (especially if they're stuck in a NICU and not breastfeeding). So I wore a button-down shirt and had a soft, squishy blanket I had gotten at a baby shower and the nurse got Liam organized high on my chest under the blanket. He sat for the longest time with his eyes open just enjoying. He was close enough to really hug and kiss on his head and nuzzle his cheeks. At one point, I think he realized how close he was to food and tried to take a nose dive down to where lunch was. I felt like I was wrestling a piglet trying to get him to stay up and away until we have the go ahead. It was so hard to do when I know he wants to eat so bad! He eventually fell asleep and we accidentally stayed past visiting hours. We're tucked away in a private room and we just inconspicuous enough that the nurse forgot to come get him from me and put him back in his bed. We loved the extra time we got though until I could catch one nurse's eye to help me out (I didn't want to get in trouble for over-staying!). So the little Aussie baby and I had a fabulous Kanagroo session. Pics to come!

It only got frustrating during one part of my after lunch visit when Liam was crying because he was obviously so hungry (couldn't get enough of pacie but wasn't satisfied with pacie so he kept trying to find something else to put in his mouth- his hand, a blanket, anything)! I was so sad because not only can I not feed him, but I can't even pick him up on my own to soothe him- I have to have a nurse to do that. :( I was able to take his mind off the hunger by showing him more pics of Ri on my iPhone. This time I was able to video Liam looking at the pics of Ri. He stares so intently and coos a bit, and then he lets me know when he's seen enough and it's time to change pictures- so bossy already! I showed Ri the video of his brother looking at his pics and he really thought it was neat that Liam liked him already. Ri had some questions about the different things taped to Liam but was never put off by them. He was just curious about what all everything did. I hope to do more videos like that now that Liam is off the stronger pain meds and is more alert. I think it would help with their bonding while they can't see each other.

The rest of the day went pretty normal to schedule. Sheryl and Mal brought Riley over after school. Ri and I hung out, played, and did homework while they went to see Liam. We all ate dinner (made by ADIIs from UWF!) and then Riley and I played more- you guessed it- Monopoly! When it was about time for Ri to head back to Daphne for bed, Steve got in from working and had a quick wrestle and visit before Ri left. Steve and I went up for the night visit and washed Liam down before Daddy got in a great cuddle session before calling it a night and driving back to Daphne.

All in all a decent day. Hoping the dr has good news for me tomorrow!

Super (Bowl) Sunday!

What a great way to end the weekend!! Went up and held Liam for the morning. He's been on the stronger pain meds since 8 am yesterday. He's just had a few doses of Tylenol throughout the past day and is tolerating that well. We all pretty much have come to the conclusion that he's fussing more because he's hungry now than in pain. I think he's just getting doses when the surgeon comes around to feel his tummy and check his incision. Other than that he's feeling great! He was so much more alert this morning so it was fun getting to finally know some of his personality! He had a great time listening to his music on my iPhone (Renee & Jeremy- "It's a Big World"- a must have!) and I showed him a ton of pictures of Riley. He was so interested in the pictures, really looking intently at the photos. Thinking he needs a Shuffle and a digital photo frame in his bed!

No more poopy diapers since yesterday, but drainage is pretty non-existent and he's wrapping up his antibiotics tomorrow. I asked about starting Kangaroo Therapy (skin-on-skin cuddle time) soon to increase bonding. His attending doctor said she saw no problem with it and we could probably start tomorrow!! Liam would get unwrapped and get to snuggle up to my chest under a blanket- I just need to keep him away from the snack he so desperately wants!! (See pic with his mouth open- Feed Me! Should be the caption. The other picture is how I found him in the AM- I Don't Do Mornings)

After the morning visit with Liam, we got to visit with my brother Jeff, sis-in-law Leah, and their son Jax (can't believe he's a year old next week!). They drove over to get a tour of the RMD House from Riley and then we all went to breakfast. It was great to visit with people from "the outside"!

After getting our tummies full, Steve, Riley, and I sat down for another round of Monopoly (yes, Riley wanted to play AGAIN). And the grown-ups lost AGAIN. Is Riley the next Donald Trump (but with better hair and hopefully better choice in women)? About that time, Steve's parents came into town and Steve and his dad went up to the NICU while Nana stayed back to entertain Riley and I got a much-needed nap. Poor Nana ran the gamit of various outdoor sports (basketball, soccer, volleyball...) until it was time for some Super Bowl goody-making! One of the volunteers at the house has taken a shine to Riley and offered to make Rice Krispie treats with him for the Super Bowl. He was so excited and even wrote a note (Made By Riley) just to be sure everyone knew he contributed to the spread.

And what a spread it was! The volunteers decorated the common areas (living room and huuuuge family-style dining room) with streamers, balloons, signs, and hats for each team (complete with cheeseheads!). They had the "house divided" Packer fans watching one TV, Steeler fans watching the other. The goodies included wings, chili, meatballs, sliders, pasta salad, Rice Krispie Treats, and tooons of popcorn with different flavor sprinkles to put on top. The place got packed and it was fun to hear the different sides of the common rooms cheer on the teams.

We got Riley packed up and out the door at half time to get ready for the school week. (Forgot to mention earlier Sheryl and I went up to the NICU just before the game to get some time in with Liam. He had just been cuddled by Steve and Mal so we just enjoyed watching him sleep contently). Steve and I got up to visit Liam again in the evening (but I kept tabs on the game via iPhone- thank goodness for technology!).

So glad we went because we had a great night nurse that waited for us so we could do some hands-on with Liam! We got to do a sponge bath with him and he tolerated things pretty well. He even got a little shampoo and smelled so yummy! His incision site has healed so well- no seepage since the first day post-op, so we were cleared to take off his big bandage on his tummy. The tape had been irritating his skin so it was nice to get one more thing off of him. All he has left are 2-3 little pieces of tape over the stitches.

After bath time he got all swaddled up and got a great cuddle from Daddy. Steve starts back to work Monday so he'll miss the daytime visits from here on out. We played his music for him again and then had to put him down for the night. He was soooo content and peaceful, hopefully he gets lots of rest tonight and keeps on the road to recovery.

It was weird saying goodbye to Steve and coming back to the RMD House by myself after such a busy weekend. He's been here with me the whole time and has been even more supportive and more loving than I could have ever imagined- I got spoiled having him with me for the past 10 days. He waited on me hand and foot all hours of the day and night, he got me healthy and moving again, and has been spending quality time with Riley, as he always does, all while being ever-present in the NICU as well. I couldn't have asked for a better partner to go through this with.

A Balancing Act

Today was our first big balancing act between spending time with Riley and getting up to the NICU to see Liam.

We started the morning with driving from Pensacola to Daphne for Riley's basketball game early in the morning. After a quick stop by the house for some items, we were back in Pensacola again and I got to go up and see Liam first. I hadn't seen him in 12 hours! :( Steve stayed back with Riley at the Ronald McDonald House playing games.

The morning visit was good. Another little poopy diaper overnight! Still not quite enough to start feeds, but encouraging! His gastric output is way down, but still a little green (again, a step in the right direction!). The night nurse had to give him a few doses of pain reliever when she couldn't console him. I think he might be more hungry than in pain, but that's just me. He had another dose at 8 am but nothing the rest of the day shift. I got to hold him for a long time and got so comfy that I fell asleep. A nurse woke me up- ooops!! After that I cruised on my iPhone instead of staring at my precious baby boy's sleeping face so I could stay awake. A picture I need to upload from today was taken when I was getting Liam back into his bed. The nurse was connecting all of his leads and tubes again and I noticed Liam slooowly inching the blanket up his face with his hands to where he nearly covered up his eyes. It was almost like he was trying to disappear so she wouldn't mess with him. Too funny- sorry buddy!

With Liam-time done, it was now time to move back to Riley-time. I swapped with Steve and his parents and went back to the RMD House with Riley to play Monopoly (his new favorite game!) After they were donw visiting Liam, we all went to Five Guys (that place was hoppin!) and then used free passes from the RMD House to go to Fun Zone. Fun Zone has inflatables, a rock wall, a batting cage, swing rope, trampoline, a log roll, and an arcade. Riley was in heaven!! What an awesome gift for the owner to donate "anytime passes" for kids to run and play and burn off energy on a chilly day like today. Just what these parents needed!!

Then it was Liam-time again. Steve's mum and I went to the NICU and Sheryl got to hold Liam for nearly an hour (since they ran out of time on their earlier visit). He just loves being held!

Then back to Riley-time. We made it through a very eventful week and decided we all deserved to have a fantastic meal out- away from the hospital, away from the RMD House. We went to Melting Pot to celebrate Riley being a big brother and Liam coming through his first week so well! Riley loooved cooking up our food for us in the fondue pots. He felt like a little chef, I think.

Bellies full, Steve's parents headed back to Daphne, Steve took the evening visiting hours with Liam, and I got Riley into bed at the RMD House. Steve reports that no more diapers to celebrate this evening, but he hasn't had pain meds since the 8 am dose so he's doing great!!

First day of running back and forth worked out pretty well. Hopefully we don't have too many weekends like this! I would love to have all of my boys under one roof, enjoying each other. We're getting there, one week at a time!

PS- This Ronald McDonald House is so amazing! The amount of nice things donated to make our stay so much more welcoming and entertaining has been unreal! And there's always groups coming in to cook dinners (which I love!). The kitchen is completely stocked with all kinds of things to eat, drink, and make, but the volunteers have kept us so well-fed, I have yet to cook anything! Today a group of high school kids came in and had a bake off. Tons of cakes, brownies, cookies, etc made to see who's came out the best. Then tonight a church came in and put on a huge fiesta night. I felt a little bad we didn't stay because they went through such effort- complete taco bar, spanish rice, sides, and even decorations! The outpouring of support from the community and donors has really got me thinking about how we can give back once we get home...

TGIAGF!! (Thank Goodness it's a Great Friday!)

The day started off much better today. Had a great phone call from Riley before he left for school. He sounded happy so that put my mind at ease. Little did he know that Steve's parents were packing him a suitcase so he could stay all weekend with us at the Ronald McDonald House. He figured it out later in the evening and was thrilled. There was something so right about looking over in the other bed and seeing my first born all snuggled up in the "nest" Steve made for him, sleeping peacefully.

Liam had a great day as well! The ten o'clock break in the morning seems to be his bewitching hour, when he starts acting up. Today, he decided he's had it with a tube down his throat and took it upon himself to remove it. The nurse decided to overrule that course of treatment and put it down his nose instead and tapes it securely to the side of his face. Take THAT Liam. :)

Lots of holding and snuggling again today. I got to help with temperature taking, changing his diaper, wiping him down, and putting lotion on him. The best news of the day- there was one little tiny poo in his diaper!! THE POO HAS STARTED! It's not enough to signal it's time to feed him yet, but it's a good sign that ti's just a matter of time now. Yay!!! We also have to wait for his gastric juices that are suctioned from his stomach (via the aforementioned tube) has to run clear or stop coming up in general. I figured out at lunch today the best way to describe what comes up- it looks like pesto. I will not be ordering any chicken and pesto dishes for a while...

We had a good run of no pain meds- another victory! He went 19 hours before the nurse had to give him some. I think some nurses might try harder than others to calm the babies before giving pain meds. I'd really like him off of them because he's more alert and interactive. I just think it's weird one nurse can get him to go her whole shift with nothing and another had to give it to him 3 times. Oh well. At least we have that patient nurse back on Tuesday. They might try starting him on Tylenol instead of the pain meds he's on to get him weaned down.

His weight has been good- he's been fluctuating since birth though, but it's to be expected. He started at 6 lbs 8 oz, dropped to just above 6 lbs, then after surgery he was up to 6 lbs 13 oz (but that was mostly fluids they fed him), and now he's down to 6 lbs 9 oz. I expect him to lose weight until he can feed. Hopefully next week!! And there's talk he'll be ready for a real crib soon!

He's looking more like a real baby every day. Just a Pic line left in his head (the other 2 IVs are out), he still has all of his leads but he doesn't have to wear the blood pressure cuff all the time anymore since he's off dopamine. And he's getting swaddled (and loves it!) so he's like a little baby bundle now! Pretty soon we'll be in real clothes, a real bed- we're on the right track!

Much better day...

What a Rollercoaster Kind of Day!

And We're Up:
Liam had a decent night considering he just got sewn up. He was getting worked off of the pain meds by morning and was going on his fifth hour of no meds when we had our morning visit.

And We're Down:
While we had our mid-morning break when the NICU is closed (10a-11a), Liam got fussy enough that the nurse decided he had gone long enough and gave him his usual pain meds. Then he got so relaxed he forgot to breathe. The nurse was able to bring him around with some oxygen and suction so he didn't need to be bagged or intubated, thank goodness. We were told just as soon as we were checking back in. It really freaked me out because early that morning there had been a Code Blue in a different part of the NICU (or in Labor & Delivery- we couldn't figure out which one). And to think that Liam had a scare- well that was tough to think about.

And We're Up:
After the lunchtime break, we went back to visit Liam and I GOT TO CUDDLE HIM!! Like REALLY HOLD HIM IN MY LAP!! He was still attached to his various wires and tubes, but he was in my arms and we were in a big comfy chair and we loved it! His heart rate calmed and he settled into nuzzling with me. I could have fallen asleep and stayed there forever. The nurse was happy to see he tolerated the holding well because some babies that weren't able to be picked up early on have a hard time adjusting to someone touching them. He also tolerated swaddling after being pretty much laying out in the open (he had a bed warmer so don't picture him chilled or anything) due to his silo preventing swaddling from happening sooner. I didn't want to put him back when it was time to go.

Continuing the Up:
Steve and I drove home (me for the first time since getting admitted last week) to see Riley and take him to basketball pictures. We had a great afternoon playing and checking out what he's been up to.

And We're Down:
After basketball photos, we had dinner around the table, did bedtime routine and then the tears started. Riley didn't want us to leave. He had managed so well all week being the "leaver", but he couldn't handle being the one left. It broke my heart to have to make a choice for the first time- I wanted my little guy happy and sleeping but I wanted to get to my baby that had stopped breathing earlier that day (and who I would also get to hold again that night!). It was terrible and hard and I think I cried all the way down Hwy 90 to Hwy 59 and onto the interstate. I was worried I can't ever go home again unless I'm staying the night because it was too hard on him. :(

And We're Up:
Poppa Mal and Nana Sheryl worked their grandparent magic on Riley for us and got him calmed down and settled. Nana even told Riley stories about SteveDaddy growing up (can't wait to hear those!) and I think she might have even caught a few Zs next to Ri in his bed. I'm sure he was in heaven. It made it easier to leave knowing his was in loving hands.

And when we got back to the hospital, Steve got to hold Liam for the first time and loved every second of it (as did Liam). We even got his eyes open checking us out a few times. I got to hold him one more time before visiting hours were over.

It was a crazy day of ups and downs- I hope we don't have too many of those or momma will need to pump and dump after I polish off some Bailey's to calm my nerves. :) I resisted tonight though...

Fix 'Em Up Day!

Today was another milestone- a pretty big one- Surgery Day!!

My mom got to come over today to be with me since Steve had to go to Mobile for a meeting with the Navy. We spent most of the morning just enjoying Liam, going over with Mom all of the machines and stuff stuck to him, and discussing with the nurse and doctor how today was going to go.

Surgery was scheduled for 2:00 but they called for him a little later than expected so we got in some great loves and kisses. I was soooo thankful he was calm and relaxed before surgery. It would have been so hard to pass him off to go under if he was fussing. I got a little nervous the closer to surgery time- my baby was going under for the first time, how would he do?

The anesthesiologist met me in the surgical ward and really put me at ease. He discussed what he was going to do and seemed to really care about watching him carefully. Just a different kind of conversation than I had with my anesthesiologist-this guy was definitely used to working with little ones.

Steve and company arrived toward the end of Liam's surgery so he was there for when Liam woke up. After what seemed like a long wait, Dr Lewis, the pediatric surgeon, came out and said the surgery went great. She even had pictures for us. They closed up his belly in a purse-string fashion around his umbilicus. I envision his scar will be around his belly button- we'll see how it turns out! She even said he won't have to be ventilated coming out of surgery which is a huge relief!! Being on a ventilator can lead to other problems such as the baby getting lazy and letting the machine breathe for them (thus having a harder time getting off the vent) or it can lead to respiratory infections. So this was great news!!

When we got to go in and see him he was not feeling very good and was letting us know it. The nurse upped his pain meds to try to take the edge off. We held his little hands and I tried to soothe him as best I could. It would work temporarily with humming or shhhhh sounds but then he's fuss again. At one point he took time to open his eyes, made sure he was looking at me and then gave the most pitiful wail. I guess it was to make sure I knew he didn't feel good :(. I couldn't leave until he settled in better so I was thankful when the pain meds kicked in more.

Steve and I went back up tonight and the night nurse said he had another dose within 2 hours of the other one, which is acceptable, but he had been going longer prior to surgery. He was still whimpering a little in his sleep so she was discussing a drip with the doctor to keep meds in his system rather than riding a pain roller coaster all night. We'll see in the morning what they decided.

When we first got there, I had checked his feet to make sure blood flow was getting to them well enough. The pressure of the bowels being in can inhibit circulation to his legs (like last night). They looked good when we went in, but by the time we left, one was getting more purple and cold. A nurse explained it might be that he's on his side now (no more back laying needed!) and that she would keep an eye on it for us.

Other good news was that his wound had stopped seeping so everything seemed to be on the mend! Next milestone will be having his gastric juices that are sucked out from his stomach turn clear (green right now, as it has been this whole time) and we need him to poop! After that we can start feeds- maybe before the week is out.

Pray for poop! :)

A Day of Ups and Downs

So our day started out as an "up"! Liam had already been visited by the pediatric surgeon and his intestines had been worked in a little further- less than half an inch can be seen out the top! His belly was a little rounder from the extra parts inside, but that was to be expected. Babies look cute with round tummies!

We had a great nurse today who explained what all to expect after the surgery and then we also got to talk to the nurse practitioner of the surgeon. She explained more of how the surgery would go and estimated his surgery time to be 2pm, lasting about an hour.

After a great morning of loving on Liam, Steve and I left for lunch and I decided to stay back in the room during the early afternoon visit- I was just too exhausted and I wanted to have energy to play with Riley when he came over. Steve went up to NICU on his own and had a great talk with the pediatric surgeon who was making rounds at the same time. He feels really good about what's happening tomorrow after talking with her.

Steve's folks brought Riley over for the afternoon. They went to visit Liam while Steve and I played with Ri. Riley was so proud he had done his homework already in the car so he could play as soon as he got here! We got a good game of HORSE in before the weather turned bad. We had some quiet time in the room and then ate a great turkey and fixin's dinner before it was time for showers and stories. Steve went home with them tonight to get to a meeting at work the next day. He'll come back over when Riley's done with school on Wed.

Of course with Steve gone, I went to the NICU by myself and that's when we had a little "down". When I came in the doctor on duty happened to be assessing him so we had a good chat. We noticed his skin was paler, especially his legs, his feet were purplish again (apparently how he was when he came out) and even one of his hands were purple. Steve and I had also been watching a spot on his intestines that wasn't as pink as the rest earlier that day and the doctor noticed it too. She said she would monitor his blood flow as that was the cause of everything. The pressure of putting his intestines back in can sometimes cause strain on his vascular system causing the purple and paleness. Why did this have to happen on the one night when Steve went away? :( Of course there was nothing I could do, but I felt bad like I let Steve down when he was away because Liam was having a bad night. I know that's not the case but it still felt that way.

She ordered fluids to get the circulation back up, but she said it would make him a little chilly so poor buddy was shivering some. The nurse let me pick him up again for weight calculation and to change his bed. I got to give him lots of kisses and rubbed my cheek to his- we loved it!!! I then got to massage his feet and hands to stimulate blood flow and pile on some blankets so he was snug but not too hot.

He had a good hour of rest listening to his lullaby music and then he started getting fidgety and grimacing (of course right when I was about to leave). I tried to adjust some things to see if it would help and rub his forehead to soothe him, but he would keep squirming every so often like he couldn't get comfy. It's hard to leave him like that but my tummy was hurting because my medicine had run out so I had to get going. It stinks seeing your baby hurting and you can't do anything for him. You can tell he's just kind of over it all- already. Sometimes he doesn't like people touching him too much- I guess he's been poked and prodded enough he just wants everyone to leave him along. I hope when he gets home he lets us get in lots of cuddling and snuggles.

Hopefully after he gets through surgery tomorrow and through recovery, he'll start feeling better. Keep us in your thoughts Wed afternoon!